Self care and your mental health must be a priority.

Rabbis have incredibly complex jobs. In particular, it requires analytical skills, emotional intelligence, empathy, and lots of time reading email. As a result, it can be exhausting, especially if you are the only rabbi. You can get pulled in a million directions and as such, self care is essential to your mental health and your success.

I’m going to continue to update this post as I receive ideas, so make sure to check back!

Last updated: September 28th, 2018

Here’s a list of self care ideas that can help rabbis like you who might be facing some burnout.

1. Get ice cream after funerals.

A rabbi I know once said that he gets ice cream after funerals as a way to balance out the emotional drain and challenge of it. I think this is a great idea! While it might not be ice cream for you, celebrating things you love in life, particularly after a death can help you navigate the rest of your day or week.

2. Go for a walk. 

Being out in nature is good for the brain and is a great way to decompress. This might be around the corner, in a park, or even on a treadmill, whatever is best for you. Get out of your house or office and move those legs.

3. Torah Lishmah, go learn something.

It is so hard to find time to learn for its own sake on the job. There is always another sermon, lesson, or something else to be preparing. However, many of us got into this because we love Torah and how it moves us. Pull your favorite sefer off the shelf and pick a page. Maybe its a text you’ve learned before and love or perhaps it is something you’ve never learned before.

You could even phone a friend and say: “hey, I wanted to do some learning, would you be able to spend fifteen minutes with me and learn a bit?”

4. Call a colleague or a friend.

Our jobs are incredibly lonely. Sometimes, there is no one who will understand you like a colleague or a friend who experiences similar things. I regularly reach out to my friends from rabbinical school who are out in the field. They know what I’m going through like no one else.

5. Exercise.

Get that body moving! I find this one hard, personally, but without a doubt, I know it makes a difference. Many years ago, someone told me, “you never regret going to the gym” and I have found this to be absolutely true! Scientifically, we know that exercise is good for both the body and the mind.

6. Go on a date with your partner or dinner with a friend.

For those of us who are fortunate to have partners or close friends nearby, it can be nice to go and do something special. It could be a date, seeing a movie, or grabbing a favorite beverage. Just do something that is not work.

7. Get a non-work related hobby.

This is something I have struggled with a lot in the last few years, but have really made an effort. It is so easy, because we love what we do, for our hobbies to also be tangentially related to our work. This is fine, but does not really give you a break. For me, in 2018, I started playing Dungeons and Dragons. Now, this game might not be for you, but it has provided me a regular time with friends where I don’t have to be “rabbi” but instead just another player, or in my case, DM. Find something you like! Maybe it is learning an instrument, it could be making art, or writing!

8. Journal

Journaling can be really powerful. Perhaps, this will work for you as you reflect on positive outcomes and challenges. As you look both backwards and forwards on goals and achievements. It might also be recalling important experiences with friends, family, or on your own. Going through this process can be exactly what you need.

9. Read a novel.

I’m not shy about how much I love science fiction. I try and always have a novel to read on hand on my kindle or on paperback. Having time to escape, enjoy another universe, or just relax, I find reading to be an key part of my self care process. After Shabbat morning services, if I do not have a meal, I love curling up with a cup of tea or coffee on the couch and just read.

10. Watch some tv or a movie.

Like with reading, getting a chance to enjoy popular culture or watch an old favorite can be the perfect thing you need to recharge. Either way, an opportunity to veg out, ignore your problems for a while can be a big help.

11. Listen to a podcast.

I’m personally really interested in design, so I’m a huge fan of Roman Mars’ podcast, 99 Percent Invisible as well as Eric Molinksy’s Imaginary Worlds for my love of science fiction. I have found that dipping into other things I’m interested in, gives me a chance to get my brain moving again and think differently. While this can also give me inspiration, it is also good to listen without expectation or purpose.

12. Splurge.

“Allow yourself to splurge a little in stressful times. I keep thinking about that rash of funerals one after the other, immediately after the HHDs, the whole school has strep in February. I get a massage or use a personal day to see a movie and take myself to lunch. I started doing that in rabbinical school, and it was an immense help.” [Rabbi Sara Zober]

13. Meditation and meditation retreats.

“Meditation. I like the app insight timer. And right after YK I went on a silent retreat and it was great.” [Rabbi Denise Handlarski]

14. Create something.

“Something creative. For me it’s creative writing (a break from writing sermons and blogs), but painting, sketching, music, I think we need to create.” [Rabbi Denise Handlarski]

15. Being with colleagues.

“I know for me, connecting with colleagues here in LA is huge.  Having pancakes with [a rabbinic colleague] tomorrow morning.  The food is good but sitting and talking with someone who lives the life I lead and understands, ginormous” [Rabbi Ron Goldberg]

What do you do for self care?

What should be added to this list? Let me know in the comments below!

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